Because he is a Romanian citizen, the Antichrist will not be voting for president in November. But there's no doubt about which side he'd favor, given his advocacy of causes such as peace, disarmament, global cooperation, aid to Third World countries, interfaith dialogue and environmental treaties. Nicolae Carpathia, as he is named, is the secretary general of the United Nations and the primary evildoer of the wildly popular "Left Behind" novels, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins. His creators have endowed him with progressive opinions whose political overtones are hard to mistake: The Antichrist is also the anti-Bush.

And now, Gene Lyons reviews the books in the November issue of Harper's, pointing out how not only is the book anti-progressive, it's also an advertisement for SUVs and suburban life:

...On a purely mimetic level, the novels scarcely exist as realistic or even as allegorical fiction. These are novels for people who don't read novels...

There's a scene in Nicolae in which Buck Williams, by now a so-called tribulation saint...hears on CNN radio that Nicolae the Antichrist has nuked Manhattan...Fleeing Chicago, Buck sees a mushroom cloud rising near O'Hare airport. Thinking fast, he drives across the median, whips into a Land Rover dealership, plunks down a company credit card, and drives off--"carefully," we're told--in a "beautiful, new, earth-toned Range Rover."

...Even the most rudimentary realism is beyond the LaHaye-Jenkins team's imaginative reach. World War III has begun, the city is under nuclear attack, and car salesmen are sitting around the showroom writing up contracts and--somewhat improbably--accepting credit cards...

It's not until Glorious Appearing, the twelfth and final novel...that the comic-grotesque aspects of this whole rapture business become simply disturbing. Here are our heroes, zipping around the Hold Land on ATVs, when G.I. Jesus finally materializes in the sky, mounted on a white horse and costumed like a professional wrestler..."On His robe at the thigh a name was written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS..."

...The books are pagan tribalism writ large, complete with soothsayers and magic spells. All of history has conspired to turn suburban Americans into apocalyptic superheroes. The end is near, and dude--you're, like, the star!

What set off warning bells for me was that the first time I saw the books in a bookstore, they weren't in the SF & Fantasy section. "???" I thought. Page 1 of the first book has the main character, some airline pilot, complaining about how his wife prays too much, and I'm like "Ooooookay. Not for me!"

What's a damn shame is that I'd love to see a talented SF or fantasy novelist tackle this scenario.